A Funny Blog

I believe toilets were invented by an aural pervert. I have heard that they were invented by a man named Crapper, but I did some research on the internets and found out that that idea is full of shit.

He did not invent the toilet, he “popularized” it. BTW, how the hell do you “popularize” the toilet? It seems to be a no brainer. Do you want to go number two in this nice porclean thing indoors or in that outhouse, splintery wood seat and all?

Well at least nobody can hear your every intestinal whisper in the outhouse. Which brings me back to my first point. Why does the toilet bowl amplify sound? I’m sure it could be designed to do the opposite, a “Stealth Toilet” if you will, but why haven’t they?

I hate to sound like a nut - but it’s a conspiracy.

A conspiracy of toilet wierdos. 

If you link it up and connect the dots it all leads to one thing. There is a secret society of toilet listening freaks who have thier ears pressed to the walls, getting off on your toilet sounds.

Which is why I do not go to the bathroom in public restrooms although I risk charges of defecating in public when I go in the bushes.